I know everything about you (from Facebook)

Facebook has the power to destroy a relationship. Fact. Well, a potential one anyway.
 
The fact that the site actually has a term, 'Facebook stalking', is creepy enough. You're having a chat with someone, you ask what they're up to and you get the response: "Not much really, having a quick Facebook stalk and then I'll get in the bath." 

Silence.

AT LEAST subconsciously, you must be questioning when it became socially okay to declare your prying on strangers profiles publicly.

The worst part by far has got to be when you're in a bar, you look around and see Sally who you technically actually don't know, but you know she's got a boyfriend who she's just celebrated her 12 hour relationship with and she loves going to the cinema on Wednesdays and her mum calls her Sweetiepie Sally. 
You know too much. And you don't know her. That's bad enough as it is...

...Let's just hope you're not one of those who forgets that Sally doesn't actually don't know you, because she hasn't spent hours stalking your virtual life, and you ask "Hey Sal, how was the cinny on Wed?" -- n.b. at this point, she either walks away - which realistically is probably the most desired situation for you - or she, rather awkwardly, asks how on earth you knew she was at the cinema - and for heaven's sake just make out you were there too! No one publicly confesses to this shit!

It's the same when it comes to boys/potential romantic interests (PRIs) though. Too much trawling, and you think you know them before you actually do. At least give him/her a chance to defend themselves against that hideous photo you found! 
I think that right now there's a strong risk of excessive Facebook stalking either:
a) putting off you eventually meeting because there's no desire to 'get to know' them 
or
b) putting you off them altogether - oops.

The fun of meeting people is about starting from scratch and building relationships, but Facebook gives you this weird one up from the start, and it can turn out to be one of the best platforms ...or the shockingly worst.

Boys that bore you.

Valentines Day is coming up. Yay.

Although if I'm being frank, last year I was dreading it - and this was when I was in a relationship - so I'm quite looking forward to a night of, erm, "me time". Don't you just hate people who overuse that word?!

I like to think it's normal that 99% of the time I just love being alone. Not alone in the sense of no friends, family or human interaction ('cos that would be just plain weird), just independent from the confusing relationship game/situation/whatever it is. 

And then there's that 1% of the time when you kinda wish you had someone. Note: this is normally on nights when your friends want to do a 'double date' type of scenario. I was having that 1% moment the other day, and it got me thinking. 

When I look back to my first 'proper' relationship, I was infatuated by the fact that a boy wanted me so much. Overlooking character traits, personality and so on, under this spell of infatuation I proceeded into a steady relationship (big mistake). Lust is worlds apart from love, however I think it's a case of you need to be in a shit situation to realise what you definitely DON'T want next time.

So now I'm picky, shoot me. 

It's like I can meet a nice guy, he's pretty ideal, good looking and so on and then I'm just stuck. Numb. Cold. (Heartless?!) I hope not.

Something in me has definitely changed though.

Before, I'd meet a guy and get all girly and giddy and want to talk to them loads and I'd check my phone and check it again in case they had text me but I hadn't seen it - which e v e r y girl has done at one point, don't even deny it. And then I'd check it again 2 minutes later. And it seems that nowadays, something's changed. 

I'm not really sure what it is. I think I've just realised that you don't have to settle for second best. I'd honestly rather wait 10 years to find the right type of man, then 10 minutes to find the wrong. This isn't about being vain, or 'up yourself', it's about respecting yourself enough to be with someone who respects you, challenges you intellectually and meets your expectations.

Maybe this is maturity.  Maybe this is what I need.  Maybe this is girl hell.
I'm not quite sure where this new found picky-ness has come from, but I've a feeling it's here to stay.

Desperately seeking a boyfriend. (Lol, jk.)

Last time I checked I have been single for, approximately, 6 months. I am  aware a certain proportion of you will have gasped already. Take a second, breathe and relax. Yep, that's right: 6 months. 
182 days. 
4382 hours. 
262974 minutes. 
Granted it does sound a lot longer in minutes...

You will undoubtedly question why I'm informing you of my single life progress, almost as if it bothers me and I keep freakish tabs on it. And for those that pondered, no I didn't sit here and work out the days, minutes and hours. Google helped me. I don't have that much free time on my hands. 

Well I guess there's two reasons for bringing it up. First of which, I'm extremely excited about Bridget Jones' Diary 3 coming out (the topic matter relates). My second reason, which really links to my excitement about Bridget Jones, is to ask the world dearly to stop asking about my 'love life'. Maybe not the world, but you'll know who you are if you're reading this. Yes, you.

You'd think I were a spinster, locked away in a rural house knitting and my only company being my cat and the postman that delivers the post once a fortnight. I'm a girl. I'm 19. I still take pride in my appearance. And I leave my house on a regular basis. There really is nothing to worry about. I know I joked about being 80, single and living with cats in a previous post (click here to read it), but I almost feel the need to emphasise the comedic stance of that post.

I know so many people that have this overruling desire and aim in life to constantly be on 'boyfriend lookout'. People that can't survive without a co-dependent in their life and, well, I think that's sad. 

I used to think being in a relationship was the coolest thing in the world. It gives you a bit of routine, it gives you someone to talk to on a regular basis, it's what I consider to be a safe state to be in. And of course I'm not saying I don't ever want that again, I just have come to realise there's more to life than making the bed after a boyfriend that never helps out. Hahaha. What a stereotype. Of course I am JOKING - some boys are very well house trained. You get my jist though, I've just got some new priorities in life.

So far in my 4382 hours of free time I have decided some goals and changed my outlook towards achieving them. For one I'm setting aside my twenties to do the things I want to do. And maybe that will mean for a portion of it I don't want someone tying me down. I'm not saying they would necessarily stop me doing what I want to do, but if I've got someone who's not permanently fixed (as opposed to family) close to me it'd would only add to the factors of how I could talk myself out of taking risks and going places.

I also quite want to learn a new language. I loved French, and I still do, but due to (boring) reasons I couldn't continue it as a wild option at uni. So maybe I'll polish that up. Maybe I'll learn a new language. I have always loved everything Scandinavian so it'd be cool to (emphasis on the try) learn Swedish or Norwegian. 

So I hopefully won't end up like Bridget. I'm a firm believer in 'never say never'. If the right boy comes along, I'm yours. I'm just not rushing into anything for the sake of it. CBA for all that pointless emotional malarchy.

80, single, living with cats.

My biggest fear in life is to die alone surrounded by a multitude of cats who ultimately, one day after feeling severely famished due to no one feeding them, eat me. 
Okay so there's not an inch of truth to that sentence, but let us not brashly overlook that this is a large and somewhat serious issue for a lot of people in life. Numerous people, namely women, actually go as far to planning their future pet situation due to depression of that place in life known as 'Singletown'. Need I remind you that this is a serious issue, guys.

I guess I struggle to understand this fear of loneliness and of being alone. And I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. I went through a break up not so long ago and it was my first "serious" relationship, and so I guess breaking up could be considered a big deal. If I'm honest the relationship was somewhat hit and miss for a long time, and so the break up wasn't a shock to me and, strangely enough, nor did it upset me. Instead of laying around feeling sorry for myself whilst simultaneously watching Bridget Jones's Diary and eating Ben and Jerry's... I got on with my life. There really is a life without being in a relationship. And it's actually a whole lot of fun. 

I'm not saying I'll have this attitude for the whole of my life, and with every man that I meet. Maybe one day once I've met "the one" everything will be different. But right now, as a nineteen year old, I can think of better things to do then cry over a past teenage relationship.

Firstly your old buddy free time reappears. You remember free time, don't you? It can appear at any time of the day, and it's really quite useful. You finally get to do the stuff you want to do, and you can happily be selfish with your time. Indulge yourself in things that make you happy; whether that's making time to see old friends or making cupcakes. Whatever floats your boat. Everybody's different, but it's crazy how you realise how little 'you' time you once gave yourself. 

I think another great factor of being single is how your true friendship bonds strengthen. Boys and girls come and go, but friendships are with you for life and so it really is essential to never drop friends for partners. Suddenly, with no one to fall back on, standing on your own two feet means you have to consciously make the effort to make plans. Now that I'm free to make my own choices, I wonder how I ended up staying in every weekend with just one person. There's a whole world out there to explore, and there's no one better to explore it with than your best friends.

I get that everyone is affected differently by break ups, and that a lot of you may struggle to understand my 'get on with it' approach. But when you look at life in the grand scheme of things... this really is but a blink in the eye. You are going to move on, you are going to be happy and you won't die alone surrounded by cats (although I can't promise about the last point). To prove my point, imagine a world where time didn't heal things... seriously we'd be the most socially inept world possible. All slumped up, crying, scoffing our faces whilst listening to depressing music. It just wouldn't, and doesn't happen.

Life goes on, and so will you :)

My dad really is the greatest.

This is me and my oh so lovely family.

It's Father's Day tomorrow and unfortunately I have to work. I have always held a Sunday job since the age of 16, and I'm now at the ripe old age of 19. So that's a lot of Father's Days and Mother's Days that I've missed out on. But, beggars cannot be choosers and work is a commitment. I have to say I do look forward to the day when I get to spend the day with them again because I think life is really quite short, and not to mention unexpected, so family time is important to me.

Seeing as I have my own blog and I can write just about whatever I want (within reason, because I would never be blasphemous or intentionally rude of course) I would just like to say:

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DADDY :)

Because I do not like to favour one parent over the other, I'll quickly get it out of the way and say that my mum will get her message on Mother's Day, so hold tight for a year or so okay. But, I would just like to say a huuuuge thank you to my dad for looking out for me for the past 19 years. You have always stuck by me (as has mum) and I love that you believe in me. I'll try my very hardest to do you (and mum) proud and to get you both a nice retirement home one day. In the far far away future, I'd like to add. Love you dad. And you too mum.

Why I will always love (500) Days of Summer.

Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn't.

(500) Days of Summer is one of my favourite films. I watch it when I'm happy, I watch it when I'm sad, I watch it whenever. The best thing about my favourite films is that I can watch them time and time again, knowing full well the ending, but anticipating a different one each time. I think that may just be the key to a successful film; they have the power to allow one person to think they can change the outcome of the story. What I love so much about (500) Days of Summer is the storyline. I admire Zooey Deschanel's character because she encapsulates the position, stereotypically speaking, men adopt. The I'm-not-looking-for-anything-serious stance, in which it's normally the female whom gets attached and ends up heartbroken. Isn't it so refreshing, girls, to see the man upset? As unkind as it sounds, it is nice to know boys hurt too. 

Together Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt effortlessly create the perfect modern-day 'alternative' couple. Deschanel is the nonchalant female with a cold, yet intriguing, take on love and relationships. Perhaps what is most intriguing about her character is the ability to appear so closed off, emotionally speaking. At crucial moments in the film that warrant emotion, guilt or even tears Summer (Deschanel) maintains a calm daze that would unsettle even the most experienced dater. In heavy contrast Gordon-Levitt is the hopeless romantic spending his life waiting to meet 'the one'. It's clear to see that their oxymoronic characters were destined for distaster, yet this painful side to romance occurs time and time again in reality. In this sense one could question why we believe the apparent wise person who once told us that "opposites attract". 

I don't know anybody who couldn't relate to the Expectations/Reality scene. I find myself squirming, just wanting to change the course of action so that Gordon-Levitt's expectations are met. Instead, against our will, we are inflicted to adopt the role of a voyeur seeing every inch of Gordon-Levitt's pain and heartbreak. This scene holds every possibility of realism and believability and I believe it's scenes like this that make the film so relatable.

Perhaps unrealistically so Deschanel and Gordon-Levitt both live in somewhat spacey New York apartments, given that they work in a greetings card firm in what appears to be the lower level jobs. This aspect however happens in most programmes or films, take Friends for example. Well, it just wouldn't be any fun watching them couped up in a broom cupboard sized apartment struggling to pay rent every episode, now would it? 

This single annoyance aside, (500) Days of Summer remains to be one of my favourite films. If you're yet to watch it, then it's safe to say you're definitely missing out.

Love knows no boundaries!

Imagine if your celebrity crush finally noticed your insistent tweets to them, saw how beautiful or handsome you were in your profile photo, responded to you and you both fell in love and lived happily ever after. 

Sadly this is in fact a very, very, idealistic situation and, unless I am informed otherwise, to my knowledge this has not ever happened.  Why? Because “status” gets in the way. This idea came to me after reading about how crazy cool and so-far-from-normal Rita Ora’s life has become in the past three months ever since she was noticed by one of Jay-Z’s reps. She’s been partying in Cannes, she’s chums with Beyonce and is dating Rob Kardashian. All I can say is, lucky her. I wonder if Rob would have noticed her if it weren’t for her propelled celebrity status? Probably not.

I suppose the notion I am getting at here in a roundabout way is that everyone says there’s a soul mate somewhere in the world for everyone. So isn’t it weird to think how some people may never actually meet the love of their lives, just because money and status gets in the way? But, like everything in life, who knows, fate may just bring people together one way or another...