80, single, living with cats.

My biggest fear in life is to die alone surrounded by a multitude of cats who ultimately, one day after feeling severely famished due to no one feeding them, eat me. 
Okay so there's not an inch of truth to that sentence, but let us not brashly overlook that this is a large and somewhat serious issue for a lot of people in life. Numerous people, namely women, actually go as far to planning their future pet situation due to depression of that place in life known as 'Singletown'. Need I remind you that this is a serious issue, guys.

I guess I struggle to understand this fear of loneliness and of being alone. And I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. I went through a break up not so long ago and it was my first "serious" relationship, and so I guess breaking up could be considered a big deal. If I'm honest the relationship was somewhat hit and miss for a long time, and so the break up wasn't a shock to me and, strangely enough, nor did it upset me. Instead of laying around feeling sorry for myself whilst simultaneously watching Bridget Jones's Diary and eating Ben and Jerry's... I got on with my life. There really is a life without being in a relationship. And it's actually a whole lot of fun. 

I'm not saying I'll have this attitude for the whole of my life, and with every man that I meet. Maybe one day once I've met "the one" everything will be different. But right now, as a nineteen year old, I can think of better things to do then cry over a past teenage relationship.

Firstly your old buddy free time reappears. You remember free time, don't you? It can appear at any time of the day, and it's really quite useful. You finally get to do the stuff you want to do, and you can happily be selfish with your time. Indulge yourself in things that make you happy; whether that's making time to see old friends or making cupcakes. Whatever floats your boat. Everybody's different, but it's crazy how you realise how little 'you' time you once gave yourself. 

I think another great factor of being single is how your true friendship bonds strengthen. Boys and girls come and go, but friendships are with you for life and so it really is essential to never drop friends for partners. Suddenly, with no one to fall back on, standing on your own two feet means you have to consciously make the effort to make plans. Now that I'm free to make my own choices, I wonder how I ended up staying in every weekend with just one person. There's a whole world out there to explore, and there's no one better to explore it with than your best friends.

I get that everyone is affected differently by break ups, and that a lot of you may struggle to understand my 'get on with it' approach. But when you look at life in the grand scheme of things... this really is but a blink in the eye. You are going to move on, you are going to be happy and you won't die alone surrounded by cats (although I can't promise about the last point). To prove my point, imagine a world where time didn't heal things... seriously we'd be the most socially inept world possible. All slumped up, crying, scoffing our faces whilst listening to depressing music. It just wouldn't, and doesn't happen.

Life goes on, and so will you :)

The importance of risk

While you are sitting here reading this very sentence, I want you to imagine how we got to where we are today. Dig a little deeper than well today came from following on from yesterday... I want you to consider how we have evolved; both technologically speaking and in terms of our material environment. If evolution is a trusted theory, or indeed if we were created ex nihilo, then there was once a point in this universe's lifetime when there was little to this earth. 

Because we were all born in the middle of the story, i.e. at a point whereby we are significantly more advanced in development in comparison to even just 100 years ago, it's really quite easy to overlook and take for granted our roots and progressive evolution. 

Nothing of what we have achieved so far, and will continue to discover and create, would be possible without taking risks. The word 'risk', to some, conjures up images of being exposed to danger, harm and loss. Others, notably entrepreneurs, see risk as the necessary factor in the equation to discovery and ultimately, success. I am a firm believer that nothing worth achieving in life comes easy.

Risk averse people tend to fall into the trap of thinking that risk only relates to entrepreneurs, but that's an easy mistake to falsely believe in. In choosing to go to university, young people take the risk in deciding to better their lives. It doesn't pay off for everyone, but for the majority this risk does; for the chance of success outweighs the risk of failure. And the same goes for school leavers opting to go straight into employment. It's the exact same formula and balance of risk/success. 

If everyone opted for the simple route in life, we would be without so many advancements. The thought of Sir Tim Berners-Lee not creating the internet is quite literally unthinkable. Sure there is the chance that a risk may not pay off, but instead of reading that as failure look at it as a learning curve. The best in the business didn't reach their peaks without a mountainous climb and set backs along the way. The amazing aspect to human existence is that we aren't aware of if we have, or ever will reach our ultimate potential, and so the scope for continuous development is infinitely open.

It's time to believe in yourself, erase the negative connotations associated with risk and embrace the infinite landscape of opportunity that is available to you in life. Why be a fleck in the existence of the universe when you can be respected and known for a valid purpose; for having achieved something worth remembering? It doesn't matter how big or small your impact is; everyone's climb to success is equally important in life... what matters is that you believed in yourself and gave something a go.

My sister, my best friend

Ever since I was a little girl I've looked up to my sister with regard to almost every aspect of my life. There is a two year age gap between us, so she's always seemed that bit more experienced at life than me. She's the cool one, the pretty one, she's my ultimate best friend. Friendships come and go, but the bond I have with my sister will stay just as strong for both of our lifetimes.

There's something irreplacable about the bond you share with a sibling. Unlike friends, who see you at your best, siblings see you at your very best, and your shamefully worst points too. You grow up together, you share secrets, you learn to accept every aspect of that person and, best of all, you know their limits. 

Luckily for my family, Lucy and I have never really experienced the whole sibling rivalry situation. We are so similar in certain aspects; the TV programmes we like, our food tastes, our love of shopping... yet at the same time we are two very different people. Lucy is most definitely a "peoples person". She can get on with anyone, and she's uber organised. The most ideal event planner type. I, however, can communicate perfectly confidently with people, but I'm an analyser. I thank Philosophy for that. Our differences, though not drastically polar opposite, add to our bond. It would be no fun if we shared the same taste in everything, or if we never disagreed. That's what makes a sisterly bond that bit stronger; we love each other enough to stand up against one another. 

Life is so unexpected, and you never know where you'll be heading, but family will always be there for you through thick and thin. So sometimes it's nice to appreciate your siblings and parents alike, because those are the people you are most likely to take for granted in life.

Cows graze, I graze...

I'm a self confessed grazer. Similar to a cow's eating habit, I spend all day long eating various items of food without much thought as to why I snack as often as I do. Realistically, if I had the means of using an oven or hob at work I would attempt to eat simply a hot meal for lunch with perhaps an item of fruit or two, but without such equipment I am left in the all-too-easy-to-gain-weight trapzone of that which is British packed lunch. 

I find it a daily uphill struggle to think of enough items to put together to constitute a sufficient lunch. Let me rephrase that; it's easy enough to throw any old easy ready made items together - i.e. the really unhealthy stuff - but not so easy to create not only a healthy lunchbox, but a filling one too. Because, let's face it, fruit doesn't keep you full for as long as you'd like it to. That crosses the apple diet off of my list.

I have found a happiness with Belvita's breakfast biscuits, as I find them a good mid-morning snack to see me through until lunch. These and cereal bars have become a staple in my office lunch, because they both contain fibre and release enough energy to curb and keep my hunger pangs at bay. Being the chef that I am though, I decided to attempt to make my own healthy cereal bars tonight. Nothing too fussy or over-adventurous for a first go, just simple, healthy, granola bars. And believe me, they are seriously good stuff. 

If you want to have a go at making them too, here's my recipe:

1 knifeful's scoop of butter (I use margarine - slightly healthier)
1/3 cup/mug of honey
1/2 cup/mug of brown sugar
3-4 cups/mugs of granola
1/2 cup/mug whole grain flour 

It's super easy. 
1. Mix the butter, honey and sugar in a pan and bring to the boil. Make sure you keep mixing it all though so that it doesn't burn. 
2. Then, mix the granola and flour in a separate bowl and pour in the boiled mixture. 
3. Mix it all together and spread the mixture onto a baking sheet flat in a large shape which you can cut into cereal bar shapes later on. 
4. Put it in the fridge to allow it to cool and set in to shape and cut into cereal bar shapes once cool.

Bon appetit everyone :)

Will the olympics inspire a generation?

London 2012. The most highly anticipated sporting event of the past, what seems forever, in Britain, and boy what a show it has been so far. Britain has triumphed in the league tables, positioning ourselves comfortably into third place with a tally of eighteen gold medals. Yes, you heard right. Britain has finally excelled at what appears to be almost every sport. 

So this morning whilst getting ready I went to flick on to BBC one's breakfast show, as I do every morning, only to be met by olympic coverage. Somewhat disappointing, for I wanted to know the weather forecast - which, for the record turned out to be dire - but, alas, for a couple of weeks I can tolerate ITV 1's version. If I'm being honest, the reason I choose not to watch ITV 1's breakfast show is that the order of events and the commentary itself irritates me. They always have to focus on hot topics and question whether the government, for example, will live up to their promises or whether Jamie Oliver will really impact school dinners being healthy and so on. Blablabla. It's far too early for such intense thought on what are quite frankly mundane and bleak issues. 

The topic of today was, unsurprisingly, shrouded with the olympics. More precisely whether, the motto of the olympics, "Inspire a generation" will live up to its expectations. Not in the sense of whether children want to take up sport as such, but as to whether the government are going to be able to fund such activities. Because of course, children cannot learn to run unless they are on a brand new athletics track. Goh, what do you take us for? 

And then it hit me. BAM. ITV 1's morning show annoys the brains out of me because they never ask whether the children are going to eat healthily, they ask whether the government are going to fund such a venture. It's not always the governments place to have to fund every aspect of our lives, you know. Sure, we all live in a cohesive society but, we are all autonomous individuals so, it is actually okay for us to fund our own sporting ventures, or - heaven forbid - even to learn and play sports in a regular playing field. 

Beyond the discussed topic leads to the question what "Inspire a generation" actually means. Personally, and I could be alone here, but I don't see it as simply inspiring a generation to be fit, healthy and athletic. I am well aware that I am not athletically inclined as such, but I do my best in trying to keep fit by means of Pilates and exercise DVDs. In watching the olympics, it would be wrong to suggest that I am not immensly proud (and a teeny bit jealous) of the athletes' faces upon the realisation that they have won gold. It spells a story far beyond the single race they have just won, it tells a story of a journey of determination, hard work, endless hours of practice and extreme motivation. 

And that's exactly how I encapsulate the olympic motto; not just inspiring a generation to become athletically-minded, but inspiring a generation to work hard to achieve their own unique personal dreams. It would be hard to watch how well our country is performing in these games and to not feel the slightest bit inspired by it.

Proud to be British: Olympics 2012

A touching tribute to Sir Tim Berners-Lee

Never have I been more proud to be British. The opening ceremony was a show stopper and a triumph for Britain in a year which has been so historically important for our country.

It started off a bit wobbly, with everyone wondering how the Amish related to British culture. Evidently, British fashion has changed dramatically since way back. And with no thorough narration to the story Danny Boyle was telling, I really did feel for the foreign visitors. I'll confess I was a tad lost myself on the historic story that was unfolding before my very eyes at the start. The puzzled faces in the audience would make an excellent photo opportunity however, I'm sure.

The beginning aside, the celebration of our culture and all things British that proceeded truly did serve to make me a proud citizen. We embraced every part of our country; the history, the culture, the literature, artists and so on. The focus on the NHS and Great Ormond Street was such a tribute to the members of the public sector in Britain, and I think it really harnessed their continuous hard work, which proved to be a very moving, and very public message of our appreciation. 

It would have to be the set design that took my breath away the most. It would be hard to dismiss or dislike just how intricate and visually stunning it was. No expense was spared, and you could see that. The fluidity of changing eras, from the countryside adorned with flowers to industrial Britain was seamless and thankfully worked without a glitch. 

Of course, there's no denying that our opening ceremony in contrast to Beijing's was entirely different. But in comparison to a production of wealth which Beijing put on, Britain created a wholly egocentric ceremony which worked so well. Instead of bowing to the pressure of internationalism, Boyle put on a production of what is quintessentially British; from the artificial rain clouds to the green, grassy hills. Rowan Atkinson made a hilarious debut, JK Rowling featured, Dizzee Rascall, a homegrown Grime artist sang and even the Queen made her acting debut with James Bond (aka Daniel Craig). 

The lighting of the cauldron, followed by an abundance of fireworks was spectacularly breathtaking and a perfect finale to such a historically exciting evening. Overall, it was a quirky take on British life, but a historical triumph too. Well done Danny Boyle. 

Let the games begin!

Exisentialism and Donnie Darko

Let me start this post by highlighting that I have been wanting to write about this subject for ages, but it's a case of where on earth do I start. You'll see.

One of my philosophy modules last year was one called Existentialism. While deeply fascinated by this module, the concepts it discusses also disturb me. It would be wrong of me to say that I can define this theory in a paragraph, but for the purpose of discussion I will give you a basic overview. So a way of looking at it would be that we humans bury our heads in sand in life in the way of sticking to routine - 9 to 5 jobs, routine of a work week to weekend and so on. We bury our heads for two reasons: 1) because humans fear and recoil from freedom and 2) because we don't want to face up to the fact that we are mortal beings, whom have limited existence. If we truly accepted the fact that we will cease to exist one day, we would live what philosophers' call an "authentic" existence. In sticking to routine and becoming social conformists, we not only attempt to give up our freedom and thus responsibility, but we attempt to attach meaning to things in life and thus keep our knowledge of our awareness of our own finitude at bay.

You'll probably see now after that very short overview - which has a lot of points and views missed out from it, why I was fascinated but too feared the subject matter. It opens up a can of worms because it really makes you consider your whole existence. This is the real is-there-a-point-to-it-all stuff.

In studying the subject I became aware that one of my favourite films is to be considered an existential film, for it discusses some of the topics that existentialism purports. That film is American Beauty. American Beauty is one of those films that I've always been drawn to, but it's hard to say what it is about it that I loved so much. And then I realised that it was this philosophical tie-in. So I set about googling existential films and bought a few to watch to help me understand existentialism more. And that's when I came across Donnie Darko.

If you've ever watched that film, then your mind will be just as blown as mine. If you haven't, you've got to watch it - seriously. I have watched this film too many times, and I'm still just as lost as the first time round. There are the numerous theories of the whole story itself; the contrast between a primary universe (PU) and a tangent universe (TU). We humans live in a primary universe, it's what we experience everyday. Time, for us is a stable element but, in this film it has been corrupted by a fourth dimension which creates a TU. Tangent universes are to be seen as "alternate universes" and they are highly unstable and usually last a few weeks before they collapse and destroy both itself and the PU. This is what happens in Donnie Darko, and the following 28 days in the film are set in this TU/alternate reality.  

Enough of the brief overview though, because I find the smaller philosophical discussion in the film so much more interesting. It's the juxtaposition of characters that are trying to find an authentic meaning to life in comparison to the bury-their-heads in dull routine types. You have the gym teacher at the PTA meeting arguing that a book (which is "meant to be ironic") should be overruled because of the themes it discusses, which seems ironic in itself in contrast to the immanent destruction of the world which is fast approaching their blinded lives. It almost suggests that we are so wrapped up in fear that we deny reality and therefore live inauthentically. 

Then you have Jim Cunningham, the flashy over the top Hollywood creation of a man that can make anyone overcome their fears. The characters are drawn to his promises of a fearless world, when in fact he is a corrupt and sick child pornography hoarder. Appearances can be deceiving, and appealing. The irony here is that a TV personality can't make you overcome fear, because it's something you as an individual need to face up to yourself. Jim Cunningham's character represents the suppressing of fear; which is what we humans tend to do but really we need to accept fear, because in accepting it we understand the essence of our existence. Donnie, in contrast to Cunningham, is in search of a deeper meaning to existence which goes beyond popularity, materialism and money. Donnie may well be perceived to be a prisoner by the other characters, trapped in a lonely world of schizophrenia, but he is on a path of accepting his freedom and therefore finding the truth and living authentically. At this point in the film you really see the contrast between ignorant humans preferring to deny reality; they are more interested in seeing sparkle motions dance routine instead of facing up to the truth of their existence for they desire routine, materialism and facades. Those searching for the truth are ridiculed and isolated by a society that is brainwashed through fear into following orders and committing controlled behaviour.

The ending of the film captures existentialism pretty neatly too. Donnie is lying in bed, laughing at something the audience isn't consciously made aware of. This is at the point when the jet engine comes crashing through the ceiling and kills him. The last 28 days never happened. This point to me suggests that Donnie has accepted fear, accepted his finite existence and no longer fears death. The hand wave between Gretchen and Donnie's mother hints at a concept of those manipulated in the TU (i.e. Gretchen and Donnie's romance) bearing distant connections to people in the PU. Gretchen feels something when she looks at his mother, because in an alternate, tangent universe she shared a connection with that family. This may explain why some people warm to others in life for unexplainable reasons. It's such a fantastic film on so many levels of symbolic and literal meaning. I don't think I ever want to fully understand it because you can read so many different things into it and that's what makes it such an accessible and likeable cult film.